Mahoromatic: Dirty thoughts are really really bad!
by George Hoang
Summary: Mahoro conficated 15 percent of his dirty books in the summer special episode. But what will become of the 85 percent Suguru has left?
1. Chapter 1

Mahoromatic: Dirty thoughts are really really bad!

Chapter 1: XX day.

Disclaimer: I do not own Mahoromatic or any characters of the series. All are of Gainax's ownership.

This fan fiction I made was my idea of a sequel to the summer special episode from Season 2 after Suguru discusses to Hamaji and Kawahara that Mahoro and her friends only took 15 percent of his porn mags. So I thought: "Damn the other 85 percent must be in some sort of large warehouse or something!"

N: It's another warm sunny day where bees fly, birds chirp and of course Mahoro doing another day of cleaning the house while Suguru and his friends returning home from another day of school.

Mahoro Sweeping living room with broom: It's sure good to clean the house again.

N: While she ensures no speck of dust is found Mahoro notices a small magazine stuck between a shelf and TV. Mahoro grows uneasy and makes a frown after reaching the magazine finding out what it was… "A DIRTY BOOK" Mahoro browses page after page in envy with some porn star named Riho Asaoka: Pink haired, a well-proportioned pair of breasts and slender.

Mahoro to herself mumbling: "I wonder when will Vesper give me that breast augmentation. It's been some long while since I requested that from them."

Suguru Walks into house: Good afternoon Mahoro-san!

N: Suguru goes quiet instantly when he sees Mahoro holding the book.

Suguru thinking: "Oh no! Not that book!"

Mahoro with an angry tone: "I think this will be mine!"

N: Suguru upset runs to his room crying while Mahoro watches him silently running up the stairs.

Mahoro: "One down! Thousands more to go!

N: A day later Suguru and his friends walk home after school to discuss about the magazines:

Suguru: "Well Hamaji and Kawahara, I got good news and bad news."

Hamaji: "Bad news first."

Suguru: "She took the special magazine from me"

N: Hamaji starts breaking down in tears and Kawahara hugs him to calm him down.

Kawahara: "Let go of my maximus Hamaji!"

Hamaji embarrassed: "Oh sorry bout that!" Stops hugging Kawahara "And the good news?"

Suguru: "She didn't find the other 20 percent at home just that magazine."

Kawahara: "Whew!"

Suguru: "I got an idea!"

N: The two boys look at Suguru waiting for his answer of his idea.

Suguru: "Well here's what we're going do with the 20 percent of our remaining books we have left here. We'll put it in a large wagon tomorrow, load up onto a motorboat my dad left behind at the docks, and go to the island of our endless supply of books and stash the remains in a warehouse there and return back."

Kawahara: "But how will we find the island?"

Suguru: "My Dad left a transmitter on the island and I have a small handheld radar to track the exact spot of the warehouse."

Hamaji: "I guess we'll see you all tomorrow."

Kawahara: "Yeah."

N: Both Hamaji and Kawahara understood the plan and agreed with the plan and went home while Suguru went into his house and grabbed another magazine Mahoro didn't confiscate plus a tissue box and went into the bathroom to do his Business ahem. But during the conversation Mahoro was at Miyuki's bathhouse with the triomatic, Rin, Miyuki and Chizuko the semi-drunk teacher Saori Shikijo and her apprentice Minawa with the Triomatic looking at a transmitter the same one Suguru had on a table.

Chizuko: "This thing's showing something 813 km from here."

Miyu: "But where does that thing go that's 813 km from here?"

N: Rin nudges Miyu and Chizu softly aside while blocking the radar with her breasts without noticing.

Rin: "What's that thing?"

Miyu in envy: "I dunno but your breasts are blocking the thing!"

Rin looks down: "Oh sorry!" Moves two steps back

Mahoro talks to the three girls: "That my friends will lead us to the last of the dirty mags Suguru and his friends has and we're gonna get em all!"

Rin: "Aww no he still has more!"

Mahoro: "Yup because what we took were only 15 percent of what they truly have"

Chizuko: "Well that's a lot of tissue paper wasted over photography."

N: The girls go red over Chizu's comment and Mahoro continues on with her subject.

Mahoro: "So what do you say girls? One more chase to end it all?

N: The triomatic all agreed to go aid Mahoro in the hunt for the confiscation of the dirty books.

Minawa: "Um… big sister? Can I come too?"

Mahoro: "Of course! We need all the help we can get!"

Minawa: "Even Shikijo-sensei?" Points at the teacher

Mahoro: "No Minawa-chan, looks at Saori in anger she ain't coming because she didn't help us.

Saori Stands up and proceeds to walk away: "Anyways I didn't want to work with some pancake-breasted maid!"

N: Mahoro turns red with anger while the triomatic feels uneasy with an angry Mahoro.

Mahoro to herself without causing trouble: "Must…. Kill…. Mammy Monster…."

N: The next day passes by. XX day arrives with Mahoro, Rin, Miyuki, Chizuko and Minawa walking in formation approaching the Misato residence. As Mahoro searched the house nobody was home. It appeared the boys made their move early.

Minawa sees a small trail of books: "They went that way."

Rin: " To the trail!"

N: The group follows the trail of books but the ends at an elementary school playground with little children reading the scattered dirty books and teachers grabbing the books and yelling at the children in confusion.

Mahoro With an uneasy look: "…. Ok…. lets move on then."

N: Meanwhile Suguru, Hamaji and Kawahara dragging the wagon runs street after street trying to reach the docks but stops at a path split in two.

Suguru: "Ok guys you go left, I'll go right!"

Hamaji/Kawahara: "Ok!"

N: As the two split up Suguru running for some time manages to be the first to come close to the docks but as he passed by a dark alley by a large wooden shack somebody from the alley grabs him and places a chloroformed handkerchief into his face while pulling him into the alley.

Suguru losing consciousness: "OMG LET ME go…"

N: Hamaji heard the yell and tells Kawahara to go to the path where they last heard Suguru's scream but got distracted by the docks and went there ignoring the scream. While they arrived at the docks loading the mags onto the boat found Mahoro and her group arrives at the split paths.

Mahoro: "Rin, Miyuki and Chizu you go left Minawa and I will go right!"

Rin: "Ok."

N: Meanwhile Suguru slowly regains consciousness fairly confused and is lying down on something soft but as he regained consciousness he notices he's on a soft bed and analyzes he's still in the docks but in a large shack made into one of those love hotel rooms with a red dim glow of light but stinking strongly of booze and wearing nothing more than shorts. Suguru tries to open one of the two doors leading outside but it's locked.

Suguru: "Help! Somebody help me! I'm stuck!"

N: Suguru stops calling for help as he hears something. Then the sound grew louder and louder sounding like a feminine laugh. He begins to sweat nervously and continues to bang the door to desperately reach freedom. Until he notices a door open on the other side and he goes blood red noticing that his kidnapper was nothing more than his lusty teacher Saori wearing a pink shower robe and she shuts the door, locks it up and places the key in her cleavage.

Saori chuckles at Suguru and speaking erotically: "Well Misato-kun lets play!"

N: Suguru runs around in circles screaming for help with Saori chasing him while laughing femininely. Meanwhile.

Hamaji: "Hey where's Suguru? I thought he was supposed to meet us!"

Kawahara: "We'll wait for him. If he doesn't show up in 10 minutes we'll assume they got him." Suddenly smells the alcohol coming from the shack

"Hey do you smell that?"

Hamaji covers his nose: "ugh! It smells really bad! Lets go check it out!"

N: The boys left the boat and walked up to the shack but hesitated to enter the shack not knowing what's inside so Hamaji leaned his ear onto the door hearing a "HELP!"

Hamaji: "OMG! It's Suguru! Kawahara! Help me break down the door!

Kawahara: "Got it!"

N: Hamaji and Kawahara tackle the door but only crack the door and Saori stops chasing Suguru.

Saori hears the door about to break down: "Well then Misato-kun I'll see you later!" Tosses a smoke bomb when Hamaji/Kawahara broke down the door and when the smoke clears Saori was nowhere in sight other then a half-naked Suguru.

Kawahara confused: "What just happened here?"

Hamaji: "Where's your clothes Suguru?"

N: Suguru, quiet from that chase looks up and sees his clothes out of reach but sees a pole and uses it to grab his clothes and dresses himself and walks out the shack without giving any explanation to Kawahara and Hamaji.

Hamaji: "Um Suguru?"

Suguru: "Let's just go before Mahoro gets to us."

N: As Suguru gets on the motorboat as the driver with his friends he notices that the triomatic Rin, Chizuko and Miyuki had spotted them and tries to run to the docks to stop them but they sped off with Hamaji and Kawahara laughing/mooning the triomatic with Mahoro and Minawa finally catching up with the now angry Trio panting from exhaustion.

Rin: "Their getting away!"

Chizuko Disappointed from failing to catch them: "Oh well I'm hungry looks at a close-by restaurant wanna eat at the restaurant with the funny looking red clown You know who I'm talking about where they super size people." Chizuko is about to walk towards the restaurant but Miyu grabs her.

Miyu in exclamation: "Chizuko. You just ate an hour ago and you had to steal our breakfast to be full!"

Rin frowns: "Yeah!"

Chizuko: "But I'm still hungry!" Tries to walk to the restaurant regardless of Miyu grabbing her.

Mahoro: "Aha! There's the boat!"

N: Mahoro points at a souped-up boat and tells the trio and Minawa to get on but as she pulls the cord to start the engine the engine stalls and blows up on her.

Minawa: "Big sister. The boat's broken."

Mahoro: "Good thing I'm good at rowing!"

N: Mahoro gets a large paddle and rows forcefully into the water thrusting the boat forward.

Chizuko: "Nooo! Me Hungry!"

End of Chapter 1: XX day

I got bored and also decided to make this a comic as well as a fanfic.


	2. Chapter 2

Mahoromatic: Dirty thoughts are really really bad!

Chapter 2: The Island of Forbidden Books.

Suguru, Hamaji and Kawahara's point of view

N: After Suguru and his friends arrive at the island they drag the motorboat into the forest, grabbed some camping equipment and covered the boat with camouflage grass. Suguru: "Well guys lets get going." 

N: As Suguru walks deep into the forest 2 kilometres with the transmitter in his hand it points northwest and at 12 kilometres.

Hamaji: "It's going to take too much time to get there!"

Kawahara: "Yeah and it's going to be dark soon!"

Suguru: "Then we have to set up camp somewhere hidden."

N: Suguru finds an unnoticeable cave and next to it a large pond and declares his friends to set up camp there.

Hamaji: "Well I'm off to go get some bananas on those trees."

Kawahara: "All that walk made me sweat like a pig so I'm off to the small lake to take a bath.

Suguru: "You do that but don't wander off too far you may get lost and Mahoro might catch you."

Kawahara: "Don't worry about it."

Mahoro and the Triomatic's point of view

Mahoro: " I see the island!" 

Rin: "Same here."

Chizuko: "I'm hungry."

Miyu: "What are you talking about Chizu? You just ate all of our supplies to get here and for the trip home."

N: Flashback switches to the girl on the boat with Chizuko with a large belly indicating she had eaten while being stared at by Mahoro/Rin/Miyu.

Chizu: " But I'm still hungry!" Pouting

Rin: " Well then lets look for food and set up camp too. It's getting dark."

Mahoro: "Agreed."

N: Hours later the camera viewpoint switches to bird's eye view with Suguru's cave camp and Mahoro's tree house camp set up 700 Metres apart for each other with the small lake connected with their temporary camp with a bunch of trees forming a gap separating the two camps in the centre. Reader's note: Don't ask me how she got the tree house it's just there

Miyu: "Well I'm going to take a bath in the lake."

Mahoro: "Go ahead and if you see Suguru and his friends let us know as soon as possible don't bother chasing them alone.

Miyu: "Ok."

Minawa: "Big sister…. I'm going to sleep."

Mahoro: " Ok Minawa-chan.

Rin With a bunch of different types of fruit in her hand: "Well I'm back let's dig in!"

N: Chizuko starts staring at the fruit like a madman drooling and smacking her lips and charges at the fruit but Rin grabs the relentless Chizuko.

Rin: "You however will only get the Pineapple and Mango."

Chizuko fairly depressed wanting to eat it all: " Aww…"

N: Chizuko bites off the skin of the Mango and takes a bite out of the pulp of the fruit and lets out a loud scream indicating she likes the fruit like she's in heaven.

Mahoro: "Not so loud! They'll hear us!"

Chizuko goes silent for a few seconds: "oops."

N: Suguru hears the noise of Chizuko's scream.

Suguru: "They're here…."

N: Suguru pulls out a paintball gun, places the CO2 bottle into the gun, 200 rounds into the hopper and an illegally modified suppressor.

Suguru quietly: Hamaji… Where are you?

Hamaji: "HEEELP!"

N: Suguru runs in the direction where Hamaji screamed only to have a sweatdrop on his head seeing Hamaji running around a coconut tree holding a bunch of bananas trying to avoid a gorilla chasing him in endless circles.

Hamaji: "Shoot it!"

N: Suguru fires a few rounds at the gorilla and the gorilla runs off in the bushes with a frightened Hamaji standing for a while.

Suguru disgusted: " Aww man! You wet yourself!"

Hamaji Looks down and goes red: "I guess I'll go take a bath in the pond."

N: Meanwhile back at the lake with Kawahara in his birthday suit floating on the water thinking.

Kawahara: "Books, books, books. Will I ever find my true love than a photo book? Sigh oh well.

N: Kawahara notices a humming and proceeds to check it out going through the gap of trees but peeks out slowly without exposing himself and sees Miyuki humming, singing and swimming along with nothing more then her birthday suit.

Miyuki Notices a possible figure in the distance but not clearly enough to verify: "Is anyone there?"

N: Miyu starts to approach Kawahara and Kawahara pops his face back into the trees but can't move back because he would rip out a fart giving away his position.

Kawahara getting nervous holding it back while Miyuki slowly closes in: "Damn…. Must hold on…."

N: Miyuki continues to approach the trees while Kawahara has a scrunched face just keeping that fart held back.

Miyu Gives up searching: "Guess it was nothing."

N: As Miyu returns back she heard something loud which to her almost sounded like a fart so she ran to Kawahara's last spot and sees no one there but a piece of turd. The camera changes viewpoint from Miyu to Kawahara who appears to be on top of a tree clinging on not to be caught.

Miyu: "Eww did some grizzly bear come by here?"

N: Miyu walks away from the spot and Kawahara drops down from the tree and runs back to Suguru's camp trying to warn them of the girls' arrival. Kawahara runs back and disturbs Suguru's sleep.

Kawahara: "Suguru! Suguru wake up!"

Suguru groggy and disturbed: "What do you want?"

Kawahara: "Their here!"

Suguru: "Who's here?"

Kawahara: "Mahoro and her friends!"

Suguru: "How do you know?"

Kawahara: "I saw Miyu at the lake."

Suguru: "Did she see you?"

Kawahara: "Almost."

Suguru: "Anyways they probably didn't see you so go to sleep. I'm tired."

N: A day later.

Mahoro: "Well girls let's go."

N: Mahoro's group left behind their camp and Suguru's group went to follow the path from his tracker.

Suguru: "Whoa!"

Hamaji/Kawahara: "!"

N: Suguru and his friends gaze in awe not to mention drool like dogs of a large pyramid at the end of the forest.

Hamaji: "We made it! Whoo hoo!"

N: The boys enter the pyramid and inside they see a large pile of treasure on one side and on the other a library full of dirty books and Video cassettes all untouched for years indicated with dust.

Suguru: "Well guys. Take your pick."

N: "The boys started picking books and a few treasure based on their preference of taste."

Suguru: "Well now what'd you grab Kawahara?"

Kawahara: "A few old issues of Riho and some gold coins."

Suguru: "And what about you Hamaji?"

Hamaji: "A few H-doujinshi and DVDs and a golden crown."

Suguru: "Ok let's get going and-"

Mahoro: "Not so fast!"

Suguru/Hamaji/Kawahara: "!"

N: Mahoro and her girls had caught them inside the pyramid.

Miyu: "There's no way out!"

Rin: "So give up if you know what's good for you!"

Suguru: "Never!"

N: Suguru pulls out the paintball gun that he had previously from his backpack and tosses it to Kawahara.

Suguru: "Shoot her while we make an escape!"

N: Suguru finds a switch that opens a backdoor escape. Suguru and Hamaji makes the head start while Kawahara holds his ground.

Mahoro: "Kawahara. Drop the gun now."

N: Kawahara fires 200 rounds at full auto at her while doing a war cry but after he finishes up he sees Mahoro with a handful of paintballs in her hand all unbroken and she runs up to him, knocks the paintball gun out of his hand and pushes him into the triomatic where they restrain him.

Mahoro: "Let the hunt begin!"

N: Meanwhile Suguru and Hamaji run out of the pyramid and sees two paths back into the forest.

Hamaji panting: "Which way?"

Suguru panting: "I'll go left you go right!"

Hamaji: "Ok."

N: The two boys split paths while Mahoro caught up to the split path.

Mahoro: "Rin, Chizuko and Miyu and Minawa you go left. I'll go right!"

N: The girls split paths while Hamaji seems to have gotten into a problem.

Hamaji: "Oh no you're kidding me…"

N: Hamaji had stopped at a dead end with trees stacked up around him, which had surrounded his possible escape route. Minawa seems to have caught up with Hamaji without the triomatic Rin, Miyu and Chizuko. As Minawa approached him she seemed to have tripped onto the ground yet again and Hamaji dropped his items to see if Minawa was okay.

Hamaji: "Minawa-chan! Minawa-chan! Are you alright?"

N: The triomatic have popped out of nowhere and piled on top of him.

Hamaji: "Hey get off of me!"

Minawa grabs his hands: "You're under arrest. I'm sorry."

Hamaji tears in his eyes: "Drat!" To himself: Good luck Suguru

N: Meanwhile Suguru runs like hell back to the boat and rips off the camouflage that was concealing it and drags it back into the water but as he tries to start the engine the engine blew up on him.

Mahoro: "Sorry Suguru-san you ain't going anywhere now."

Suguru: "Mahoro-san!"

N: Mahoro stands 10 feet apart from Suguru with the triomatic and Minawa catching up with her dragging Hamaji and Kawahara who appears to be tied up.

Mahoro: "There's nowhere to run now Suguru give me the last of your books. This tyranny is over!"

Suguru: "I refuse to give up the last of my books!"

N: Mahoro suddenly runs up to Suguru, quick-swipes his backpack and tossed Suguru into the triomatic also restraining him.

Mahoro to Suguru: "Suguru-san. When will you learn that DIRTY THOUGHTS ARE BAD!"

N: Suguru builds a sweatdrop by his forehead and sighs along with his buddies Hamaji and Kawahara.

Mahoro: "Now everyone follow me to see a celebration."

N: An hour later the gang had arrived back at the pyramid and Mahoro raised her right arm holding a remote detonator.

Mahoro: "Now here's my favourite part of it all!"

Mahoro presses the button and the pyramid exploded into pieces toppling.

Suguru trying to run at the pyramid with Mahoro holding him back from getting near the explosion: "NOOOOOOOOOOO! MY BOOKS! MY FAVOURITE BOOKS!"

N: The triomatic, Minawa and Mahoro started cheering and cheering and running around in circles holding hands joyous of the destruction of Suguru's remaining dirty books. Suguru, Hamaji and Kawahara; shocked of the events dropped to their knees and looked down on the dirt, silent and depressed.

Mahoro: "Now lets go home and celebrate again!"

Chizuko: "Yay! More food!"

N: Back at home Mahoro, Rin, Miyu, Chizuko and Minawa got into a pig out with the meals and acted normally socializing while Suguru, Kawahara and Hamaji huddled in a spot unnoticed from the group.

Suguru: "Oh man! They hit us hard on that raid."

Hamaji: "All the books, even the gold… buried… destroyed…"

Kawahara: "This is not one of my favourite days."

Suguru: " But she still didn't get all of them."

N: Hamaji and Kawahara looked surprised at Suguru with a hope of confidence returned.

Hamaji: "What do you mean she didn't get all of them?"

Kawahara: "Yeah what are you talking about?"

Suguru: " tssk tssk tssk that was only 30 percent of the books taken!"

Hamaji: "Then where is the remaining 55 percent?"

Suguru: "In space."

N: Suguru, Hamaji and Kawahara got really nervous as they saw Mahoro behind them who appears very, very pissed holding dessert which she just dropped on her foot.

Minawa: "Um big sister you dropped the food."

Mahoro: "Um Suguru-san."

Suguru nervous as hell: Umm. Yes Mahoro-san?"

Mahoro: "DIRTY THOUGHTS ARE STRICTLY BAD!"

Suguru: "AHH OMG!" Runs off grabbing Hamaji and Kawahara

Mahoro: "GET BACK HERE!"

N: Mahoro chases Suguru and his friends while camera panned Minawa watching them silently oblivious of the situation while camera switches to Rin and Miyu sweatdropping looking at Mahoro running in the distance and the camera switches to Chizuko eating and smiling.

Chizuko with her mouth full: "Boys today…. Giggle to herselfeven if she gets em all she's oblivious to who's Suguru's supplier." Conceals a dirty magazine in her bag.

N: The screen blacks out.

The end.


End file.
